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• Photo by Juan Moyano/Stocksy. I don’t remember the first time I learned what it meant to be gay, likely due to everyone assuming my (homo)sexuality since I was a wide-eyed cherub. Growing up, my voice was high-pitched, my wrists naturally went limp, and I loved musical theater. I was that kid who sang the harmony on the final verse of.
• A Straight Guy’s Guide To Dating Queer Women. It’s time to educate yourself. The individual pictured is a model and the image is being used for illustrative purposes only. Dating as a queer woman presents a unique set of issues. When I started to disclose on my dating profile that I was queer, then matched with men, I was often met with.
• R/bisexual This group is for discussion and support for those who fall in between, for the 'shades of gay' in what is often assumed to be one or the other:. bisexuals. pansexuals. omnisexuals. queers. non-straight individuals. Or anyone who doesn't quite fit the otherwise binary 'straight' and 'gay' pattern.

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The fantasy of dating a bisexual woman is better than the reality. Despite all the rap songs, adult films and rumors to the contrary, seriously dating a bisexual woman is really not that different.

By: Mark Lees, M. A.

We are your fathers, sons, brothers,uncles, co-workers, friends, neighbors, boyfriends, lovers and husbands. Butaccording to a Pew Research Center Survey, bisexual men are the least of theLGBTQ community to be out to those closest to them.

Pew surveyed 1197 LGBTQ individualsand found 40% of the LGBTQ community identify themselves as bisexual, thelargest segment of the LGBTQ community. Yet, bisexual people are less likely tobe out of the closet than their lesbian or gay peers. Only 28 percent tellingPew, “Friends, family, and co-workers” are aware of their ‘secret.’

Bisexual men due to unique stereotypesand stigmas make it even more difficult to measure their numbers. (Only 12percent of bisexual men told Pew that they were out to the important people intheir lives.)

In a day and age where sexual fluidityis the new norm. Why are bisexual men reluctant to share their true selves withfamily, friends, and romantic partners?

Here are 5 possible reasons why:

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1. Public Relations: Of those in the LGBTQ community. Bisexual men have beenthe least portrayed on the big and little screen. Hollywood, TV, and literaturehave depicted the openness of female bisexuality in characters and roles foryears. For bisexual men, the representation has been invisible. Not to mentionbisexual men have a lack of public role models. Possible Solution: Cast more men as bisexuals in TV shows. Write the networksand studios to request this.

2. Masculinity: Men have evolved into a stay at home dads. We change diapers in sports venue restrooms and we are ok with our spouses being the breadwinner. All good things the majority of men in the past have perceived as ‘emasculating.’ But the final masculine vestige we will not let go of is our sexuality. We hide under the macho veil we have worn since the beginning of time. Even though we have romantic and or sexual feelings for both men and women. Possible Solution: As more well known (perceived) masculine men come out as bisexual the masculinity stigma will diminish. The increasing change in gender titles will also help men take off the masculinity mask.

3. Family: Men are afraid of what family will think of theirbisexuality. We have played our straight roles well for them. Our families haveseen us grow up having crushes on females. They have met our high schoolgirlfriends and college sweethearts. Many of us became good family men andcaring fathers. How many times have we heard from family members and parents? “Ohhoney it’s a phase, you will grow out of it.” A common thing I hear from otherbisexual men is “What will my child think of me If I tell them?” “They do notneed to know.” ‘What will my brother or sister think of me?” The family is thehardest to share our secrets with. Besides #5 this was a tough one for me. Possible Solution: Startslow. Talk to a family member you feel the safest and trustworthy with.Starting first with a good friend helps with confidence. From my ownexperience, fear overshadows the reality of our family being more thansupportive.

4. Support Systems: Another factor making it difficult to come out as abisexual man are support systems or lack thereof. Support systems are not asprevalent and strong for bisexuals as they are for other LGBTQ individuals.

Julia Taylor, of the AustralianResearch Centre in Sex, Health and Society, who is leading the country’slargest study into the mental health of bisexual and pansexual people, makes astrong point when she says, “There are “protective factors for gay and lesbianpeople that bisexual people aren’t privy to.” “If gay and lesbian people comeout and things don’t go so well for them…they do have a big vocal community tofind support and that’s something bisexual people don’t have,” Taylor added. Possible Solution: Join bisexual friendly groups. Most towns have LGBTQcenters as well as excellent resources for bisexual men.

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5. What will Women Think of Me? Many bisexual men are hesitant to share their bisexualitywith a woman. I say this is due to his perception of what she will think of him.The prevailing belief by many men aligns with this statement from a bisexualman. “Being attracted to men negates masculinity in the eyes of a shit ton ofwomen.”

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From personal experience, thisstatement holds some truth. Besides telling the family this was my biggestfear.

The first person I came out to inrecent years was a female friend I began dating. When I told her I wasbisexual, she joked. “Any man who sucks the c**k of another man is not straightand there is no such thing as bisexual.”

Needless to say, this set me back onmy campaign to come out as bisexual for a few years. But, the next femalefriend I told, a person I had known for over forty years was very accepting andaffirming. I begin telling female friends, co-workers and potential datingpartners I was bisexual. Dating partners who were not comfortable with it wouldsay, “Thank you for telling me. But I am not ok with that.” It was freeing andliberating to be able to share openly and honestly with others. Living my truthwas a huge step in self-acceptance for me. Possible Solution: From my experience, bisexual men have a few close femalefriends. Start by telling one of them.

These 5 reasons are not etched instone. But professionally they are the 5 reasons I have heard the most frombisexual men I have counseled. I have also experienced these 5 on a personallevel. It is this writer’s opinion we are undergoing another sexual revolutionin our society. Gender titles and sexual identification are changing. The LGBTQcommunity is undergoing a renaissance and now more than ever is consideredmainstream. As bisexual men ease through the fear of coming out. The societal acceptance and validation ofthem will become the norm.